Famous Last Words

"Wait to start the movie- I am going to go and be back in less than SIX minutes!! I'm going fast!!!"
-me to Ryan and my parents as I rushed out the door to get some M&Ms from the local gas station

...six minutes later I'm having one awesome conversation with Officer Joe RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE as he totally ruined my "fastest trip ever." And no, a bag of $200 M&Ms really doesn't taste any better than the normal $1 bag.


"Yeah, I seriously think it's so ridiculous and annoying when people freak out about a little bit of bad weather. I personally never let the weather impede my plans."
-me as I trek into a winterstorm to go get stuck at Ryan's house for my potential snow day

...hours later I'm sitting in the ditch trying to get service for someone to come help me out.

...more hours later I'm standing in the freezing cold with Ryan and his patient (but obviously annoyed with my "I never let the weather impede my plans" attitude) dad while we wait for Tow Truck Man to come get my car out of the ditch. As I read "We're highly WRECKomended" on the side of his truck, I wanted to roll my eyes, but they were too frozen to move.

Umm yeah. I'm ready for spring already.

No Happy Meal Here

A few weeks ago, I received a coupon for a free meal at McDonald's. Each time I've driven by those golden arches, I've thought of this free meal offer, but hesitated to stop in due to my slight obsession with eating healthy. But today in the joy that is a SNOW DAY, I decided to indulge in some McD's and even told Ryan this morning that because I've eaten so awesome lately that I might even SUPER SIZE IT lol. Needless to say, I was excited about this free meal from Ronald McDonald.

So there I am-- standing in line at McDonald's and looking up at a menu that 45 pounds ago I knew by heart lol. But as I look up at the menu of french fries, Angus burgers, and quarter pounders with cheese, something unexpected happens. I realize in that very line that NONE OF THIS SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. I try to find something that does, so I inquire to the lady behind the register about the club sandwich, but as she lists off, "fried chicken, lots of bacon, cheese, mayo," my stomach starts to cry out, "No, Erica, no!"

I pull out my phone and text Ryan, "I couldn't do it." With minimal embarrassment, I explain to the nice McDonald's lady that I changed my mind and will use this coupon another time. It was such a crazy feeling that I thought I was going to reward myself with a treat, when really from all the hard work at choosing brocolli over fries and saying no to greasy burgers, I had indeed CHANGED my food preferences. And so it was just five minutes later that I stood in line at Subway while they made my oven roasted chicken breast-- no cheese, no sauce, but lots of veggies.

And you know what? It was one happy meal. :)

Heard around the classroom of Miss Dyer

Cute girl in my class #1: "Oh Miss Dyer- I love that you grade our work in pink instead of red. It's so...."

Cute girl in my class #2: "It's sooo Miss Dyer is what it is!"

Cute girl in my class #1: "Yes- it is definitely so Miss Dyer. Red is so old school- hot pink is totally the new red... I'm glad you recognize that, Miss Dyer."

And then another quotable moment from WALB who was introduced to us a couple of blogs ago...

WALB: "Oh man, I just threw up."

Me: "What?! Where, Austin?" (as I stare at the gallon of red Kool-Aid he just brought with him to class today, no big deal- TOTALLY normal?!)

WALB: "Oh. Did I forget to say 'in my mouth'? I just threw up in my mouth. But it was so gross, you know how..."

Me: (interrupting him before the kid next to him ACTUALLY throws up) "Okay, we're good, Austin. Thanks."

And let's end on a note of the joy that it is for me to work with high school boys...

I'm giving my students this test to help them prep for the ACT. I have to read off all of these instructions for them to fill out the demographic section of the test.

Me: "You need to do A-D, skip E, then do F-L, skip M..."

Kid raises his hand and I call on him.

High school boy: "Can I do U?"

Dancing with who?

My mom likes Dancing with the Stars, so occasionally I try to be nice and watch it with her, but every season I ask the same question EVERY TIME: "Wait- which one is the star again?"

Seriously. Sabrina The Teenage Witch-- I didn't even think you were cool when I was in 7th grade, so now I really think you're annoying. And funny enough, she might be the biggest "star" on the show.

This actually happened.

Weird Awkward Loveable Boy (WALB): Miss Dyer. Could I have a piece of Scotch tape?

Miss Dyer: Sure. Help yourself.

WALB: I guess I should explain.

TIMEOUT FOR ME TO JUST SAY THAT I DID NOT LOOK THE SLIGHT BIT IN NEED OF AN EXPLANATION FOR HIS REQUEST OF SCOTCH TAPE! I don't buy this stuff, thus I am extremely great at sharing it. :) And I continue...

WALB: See, my mom taught me this great trick when I entered puberty. If you take a piece of Scotch tape and stick it on the pimple it helps to absorb some of pus and gunk. Then you just pull it off and it's already getting smaller.

Miss Dyer: (speechless with a look of sheer shock, amazement, and sudden desire to throw up the apple I just ate)

WALB: Works everytime. Not even kidding. You should try it sometime, Miss Dyer. Oh but I don't think you even have pimples, but seriously tell your kids one day.

Miss Dyer: Oh I'll tell people about this, Austin-- don't you worry!

And this is my life. I don't think I've ever once been bored at my job. Slightly disturbed... that's another question.

Great Expectations

A friend of mine was feeling a little disappointed on her birthday. She explained it was due to her high expectations. I was writing her the following email when a guy friend of mine at work said, "You should forward that to all girls everywhere please." So this is where I pretend like this is a real blog that thousands of people are reading and that I have some sort of influence, when in reality, I'm probably the most reads this post will get because I am so particular and have to read everything 13 times before publishing it. But just in case, here you go, world of women reading my Dyer-E...

Hey friend.

Sorry yesterday was not the best. I understand about having high expectations. My hopes are always up. Such as just now I was thinking it would be sweet if on my first day of school, Ryan would hire a plane to fly exactly across the area outside my window and it would hold a banner that read:

HAPPY FIRST DAY, MISS DYER! JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU AND I LOVE YOU!!!

Yeah, but see he might not be thinking of this. It is unfortunate that people like you and I are so thoughtful and clever that we dream up cool things to be done for us, because really no boy is probably ever going to be able to live up to these high (literally with my example lol) expectations. And not because they're bad guys, but because they ARE guys.

I have a large 2DO, 2DAY list right now, so I think I'll add "lower expectations" to the list.

:)

Love you!

Hungry? WAIT.

One of my best friends text messaged me this tonight:

"I've been sitting here wanting to snack all night long, and keep telling myself an Erica quote- I've never regretted NOT eating."

I'm so glad I can help hungry people not eat. :)Hahahahaha.